Betrayal, deception.
Words cannot describe the pain I am feeling. Do I believe him? Do I believe the man I once loved?
I used to watch the sunrise with you, a new day forming within our hearts. Now the only days I see are ones within my dreams at night.
Kisses from your lips upon my cheek do not fond me anymore. Vanished with the wind no longer apart of a family but apart of a worthless attempt of love. Love does not include dishonesty, love does not include a desiring hatred.
Love is endearment, devotion, and compassion.
I see a coward.
Never should an affair cross a women’s mind nor see one with there own eyes. The eyes of which I saw my lover upon another woman. Skin touching skin is dead to me now, no longer do I see the father of my children.
A coward in which my beloved son will never know, how disturbing.
Love is a drug, addictive. Thats why I cannot leave the man who betrayed my trust
Hi Annabel,
As mentioned in class, some of the words you are using in your work are inappropriate to the context you’ve created. You have to ask yourself; what do I mean by this?
An example we talked about in class was “Skin touching skin is immortal to me now” – it seems as if you are writing to try and make it sound impressive, without considering its meaning. You need to be more deliberate with your writing and your language choices.
You have a few spelling issues as well. You use ‘there’ instead of ‘their’, for example. These are small details that you must pay attention to.
Good use of multiple sentence types in this short piece, but unless you can create meaning as well then you are wasting your effort.